Comparing Mike Tice to Brad Childress

When Mike Tice took over for Denny Green in late 2001, the Minnesota Vikings were a team in turmoil, but only one year removed from the NFC Championship. Granted, it was the 41-doughnut game, but still, it was the NFC Championship. Korey Stringer had tragically died during training camp, Denny Green had lost the locker room with preferential treatment of certain players, some of Denny’s assistant coaches only had two qualifications for employment-- they kissed Denny’s ass and had plenty of chapstick-- because they didn’t know beans about football, and the defense that had been kept together with duct tape and bailing wire finally imploded. Daunte Culpepper was out for the year with a knee injury, a former wide receiver was a starting cornerback, and Vikings fans were suffering through the Spergeon Wynn era, which was about as painful to watch as Cloris Leachman in one of her dancing outfits. And who are you kidding? You’d hit it.

When Brad Childress took over for Mike Tice approximately eleven seconds after the 2005 season ended, the Vikings were a team that had been the butt of every joke in the NFL for most of the season. The Love Boat had been all over the news, as had revelations about Tice scalping Super Bowl tickets. Daunte Culpepper left his knee and career on the field in Carolina, right next to Fred Smoot’s charred remains. But through it all, the Vikings came off the canvas to finish 9-7, and by almost every measuring stick Mike Tice left the franchise in better shape than when he inherited it. Oh sure, they underachieved, but there was never a dull minute with Ringmaster Mike and those Wild and Crazy Vikings. Tice’s career was as colorful as Childress’ has been bland, but the results, in many ways, are strikingly similar, with Childress having a distinct advantage in one area.

After four years and one game, Tice went 32-33, with a 1-1 post season record.

After three years, Childress has gone 24-24, with a 0-1 post season record.

Tice’s draft record is spotty at best, with 2005 the beginning of the end. The Vikings had two first round picks and whiffed horribly on both of them. I blame that draft disaster on me, because I attended the Vikings draft party live and in person, much like I blame the 2006 Ohio State BCS Championship on me as well. Nothing like seeing old Red McCombs come out and yell “Purple Pride!”, only to be almost booed and fuck you’d off the stage. I was 38 at the time and pissed my pants I was laughing so hard. As usual, I digress. Tice did have some pretty good picks, though, from Brian Williams (who became a pretty good cover corner but was let go in favor of Fred “I’m Steve Smith’s Bitch” Smoot), Bryant McKinnie, Nate “Poison Pill Payback” Burleson, EJ Henderson, and Kevin Williams. But there were a lot more misses than hits, so his draft record can only be described as minimally acceptable to borderline failure, especially considering that 2005 draft. With two first round picks, the Vikings currently have zero players left from that draft still on the roster, and that is unacceptable.

But Tice was a master recruiter, and he got some pretty good talent to sign with the Vikings through free agency. Corey Chavous, Darren Sharper, Antoine Winfield, Pat Williams, and the aforementioned Smoot are his big free agency prizes. Now I admit Smoot was a bust in Minnesota, but the pick was lauded at the time, by no less than the New York Times.

Childress has had his fair share of free agent success as well. He’s signed Chester Taylor, Bernard Berrian, Madieu Williams, Ben Leber, and Steve Hutchinso, all who have had a significant impact on the success of the Vikings

Where Childress has seemed to far exceed Tice is in his ability to draft. 2006 was like winning the lottery for Childress, as five of the seven draft picks have become starters. Chad Greenway, Cedric Griffin, Ryan Cook, and Ray Edwards stand out in that group, and if Tarvaris Jackson pans out, it will be one of the all-time great draft classes in team history. 2007 was pretty good as well, with Adrian Peterson headlining a class that also includes key contributors Marcus McCauley and Brian Robison. The players selected in 2008 don’t really stand out, unless you consider John David “Gino Torretta” Booty a steal. But you must factor in the trade that brought Jared Allen to the Vikings for a 2008 first and third round pick…a deal that Red McCombs would have never done.

Speaking of ownership, when comparing Tice to Childress, that is the one variable that is undeniable, and skews the results towards Tice. While Tice was coach, Red McCombs ran the Vikings much like Ebeneezer Scrooge ran his business, only without the Christmas epiphany. His epiphany was to trade Randy Moss.

What a fucker. A school of business at...Texas. The same Texas that beat Ohio State.

Somewhere, God is pissing his pants he's laughing at me so hard.

Brad Childress has had the luxury of Zygi Wilf, who throws money around like Pacman Jones in a strip club, only in a classy, let’s not shoot people or ‘make it rain’ sort of way.

When Childress has asked for something, either in terms of people, facilities, or coaches, he has received it.

Tice had to pay for repairing the air conditioning at the teams Winter Park headquarters out of hide. No wonder he scalped Super Bowl tickets.

I guess the point of this is that Tice wasn’t nearly as bad as he is remembered, and Childress isn’t as incompetent as he is perceived to be. Unless, of course, he is calling a goddamn screen pass on third and 9. Then he’s a dope.

Both had their shortcomings, and both have qualities that I tend to like. Tice was a guy I would have loved to have played with or played for, and his Monday pressers became must-see TV. And when you factor in the fact he had a penny pinching owner that was cheap on everything, from facilities to coaching staff budget, I think Tice deserves another chance at a head coaching job somewhere that will give him a level playing field. Childress gives off more of the parent vibe, and like my Dad, he pisses me off with some of the decisions he makes, and I don’t understand them at the time.

My hope is that 20 years from now, I’ll realize he was right. Especially if there’s a Super Bowl trophy in the glass case.